Look at Elizabeth Hurley, LOOK AT HER. This woman is 51, 51! This is the last thing I need to see when I’m choking down egg whites and feeling bad about the 2o pounds I’ve gained. What are you doing, Elizabeth? Bathing in the blood of virgins? Injecting some sort of sheep hormones? Make a pact with the devil himself? I swear to Christ if you tell me something fake like “water and Pilates” I’ll find whatever tropical island you’re on and shake the truth out of you.
Here is the pic again, but bigger, take it in. The difference between Liz and I? Her Instagram captions are things like “life is short, but the bikini”, mine are more like “life is short, buy the donut”.
Oh and here’s another one just in case you didn’t want to kill yourself after the first one.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to go cry in the shower.